i believe a lot of it had to do with me looking for a sense of belonging, and the other part just wanting someone to cling to.
i remember a few times in my life where people just stopped being my friend. No big fight or unresolved drama, just cease to be friends. This was so hurtful to me. i took it so personally. i would wreck my brain with what had gone wrong? What had i done, to push this person away? Why had this happened to me yet again?
Now, when i look back on these events, i no longer feel sadness about them. Why, you may ask. Well, as i was pondering this specific problem recently, i was reminded of a verse in the Bible.
A Time for Everything
There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under the heavens:
a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing,
a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,
a time to love and a time to hate,
a time for war and a time for peace.
You see, even if i didn't understand the reasons to which the friendship was no longer, God had/has a plan. Sometimes we forget that there is a time and a season for all things, (even friendships). i am not saying this is always the case, but a lot of times if you look back, loss of a certain friendship is not always a bad thing. Your world did not end.
This in no way means that friends are unimportant, or a distraction. it is human nature to crave and cultivate friendships. But sometimes we need to remember who our "best friend" is.
Christ should be our go to, our top priority. Are we cultivating our friendship with Christ? Do we talk to Him? Are we reading His letters to us, (the bible)?Do we only bring problems to the table? Are we thanking Him for our blessings?
As i am writing this, i am overwhelmed with a sense of comfort. Not only that He has the seasons in His hands, but He is holding me too. Let your best friend know how you feel, and be sure that Christ is involved in all of your friendship. Be grateful for the times you had in the past, and the times you hold now.
And to my past friends, i am sorry i leaned so heavily on you. i now know where my strength comes from. Blessings to you, all my friends, (past and present).