"NO!" This child was not suppose to have wings yet! Why? Why? Why? How could this happen? A mother who i knew was lost and hurting at this very moment. Two siblings, never to see their sister again. Nothing i could say could comfort or heal these hearts. Trying to wrap my head around it, even this morning i can't. This is so unfair.
i've known this girl for years. Her mother is a amazing mother! i can't ever remember a time i felt so much hatred towards the world. i know life isn't fair. i've read all the verses, and i get it. But it's still unfair! A hole in a mothers heart. An ache that might dull through the years, but never completely leave. Unfair!
i can't say i've found peace with this yet, if i did it would be a lie. i'm angry! This is not my child yet the pain of loss hurts.
Loss is something we will experience more times than not. it will never become easier, i realize this. i guess that's the harsh reality that i have to get ahold of.
So my tears will keep falling for my friend and her family, but something i will try to remember is that in these dark moments God holds us. As i know he is holding her now. it's so hard to feel at times, because we are overcome with our grief. Understandably so. But i also don't believe God wants us to just "get through" it quick. That's not my God. i believe he weeps with us. i know he hurts when we hurt. He will comfort us during these times. it doesn't mean the hurt goes away instantly, but we have a Savior to lean on.
So as i pray none of us experience these circumstances, i know that some of us will, or already have. i know through the years we will loose many who mean much to us. i pray that we rely on the Saviors strength. We don't have to be strong.
Arm yourselves with the word of God so we have the strength to endure these trials in life. And if you would, please pray for my friend. As one mother to another, there is no pain quiet like loosing a child. And for little Jenna. . . . .
My dearest one, i know you are in the loving arms of the Savior. i know you have more peace and joy now than you have ever experienced before. i know that not another tear shall ever fall down your cheek. As for the rest of us left here it is hard. Your laughter is missed, as our favorite memories of you replay back to us. Rest easy dear one, we will all see you again soon.