Pretty embarrassing calling the bowling alley, (where he wanted his party), and asking if they had a spot available on saturday, (which was only 5 days from now). Obviously it wasn't happening.
i felt deflated, and so upset with myself. How had i let this important day fall through the cracks?
i talked with my son and told him we would have the bowling party after vacation, and a little family party before. He was fine with that, but i wasn't. My heart hurt, i felt i had let him down, and it made me feel as if i was failing at my job, being his mama. . . . . Then i remembered a birthday a few years back, where money was really tight, and i had the same feeling of failure as i wrapped a couple little gifts. i remember being shocked when he was so thrilled with his presents, and kept saying thank you over and over all night. i remember feeling so silly for worrying, and grateful to God for blessing me with a child who was thankful for even the smallest of items.
Reminds me of God's grace, and love for us. He doesn't need us all preaching on street corners, or wearing brightly colored t's that say i love Jesus. (it's nice, but he doesn't need it.) He just wants us. He wants to hold us, comfort us, and make us feel loved. He just wants YOU. Even a small gift he uses. Don't let the pressure of what you think a christain has to be, hold you back. Just give him your heart, and "the grace of our Lord Jesus christ be with you." (1 Thessalonians 5:28).