People that don't have it think it's just a nuisance, no big deal. "Parenting properly would make it go away," they say. "Just be stricter." But it is a big deal. it affects your whole life. Your choices, actions, and emotions.
What is it? Well it's proper name is A.D.H.D.. But to me, it is confusion and frustration. Like having bright lights on all day, even when you are trying to sleep. (that's the worst.) Confusion because you know its easy, but you can't seem to do it. Frustration at yourself because your brain won't compute this.
i have A.D.H.D. and it affects me daily. i have learned to cope and deal with it. Being a grown up helps. But to watch my little one struggle with it pains me. i feel his pain and i hurt for him. i'm doing my best to give him every advantage. i will take the verbal attacks and emotional breakdown. Why? Because i am mom. i am her.
it is very hard to watch him beat himself up everyday for things he can't do. But i can cry tonight. Right now i will help him. i will hold him. i will pray for strength and bite my tongue when i'm angry. i will swallow the hurt when he pushes me away. Above all i will pray for strength.
With every tear he cries my heart breaks.
"i'm so stupid!"
"why can't i get it!"
"i feel my life is a punishment!"
(that one stings the most)
Like darts thrown at my heart. what can i do? never give up. Keep putting one foot in front of the other. God entrusted this little man into my care. i am blessed to be his mama, and i know he will grow to be an amazing man.
it's not a road for the weak hearted, and i wish it on no one. But it is my road. On this journey i will hold his hand and take a backpack. My backpack that God has filled with an insane amount of love. Strength i never knew i had. Patience and peace beyond understanding. God keeps me strong and moves me along. One foot in front of the other.
So maybe next time we see a mom that looks like she might need a few more supplies in her backpack. instead of shaking our head, or murmuring in judgement. Maybe we could offer up a silent prayer for her. Because we don't know what road she's on.
Children are a gift from the Lord;
They are a reward from him.