And this is where i feel the emptiness. Like there is a hole in my belly that will never be filled again. i don't understand why its such a hard pill for me to swallow. i mean, i'm a mom. Thats what i do. i know i'm not the best one out there, but its what i was made to be. Be it silly or not, my boys aren't gonna need me forever, (which is a good thing), but where the job security in that? i joke, but really.
Then i have guilt. Guilty for feeling this way. Why do i feel so entitled that i should be allowed more kids? Guilty that i sometimes feel unsatisfied. Guilty that i feel i'm mourning the end of the baby years. i have two healthy boys in a world many women can't conceive. Why should i be mourning ?
i guess this blog is to help me come to terms with my lifes script. And i'm wondering if anyone else has felt this way when closing up the baby factory. (Comments more than welcome).
And to those of you that have lil ones now, enjoy it all. Smell their breath more. When they are teething hold them. Watch them, kiss them, snuggle them. Don't worry about bring perfect, just enjoy the ride.